The Power of "I Am" - Rommal Surana

Our words hold immense power. They shape the way we think, feel, and ultimately, the lives we live. This is especially true for the words we speak about ourselves. Statements starting with "I am" are more than just words; they are declarations of identity. Whatever follows "I am" becomes a way for us to define who we are and what we feel. Therefore, it is crucial to be mindful of what we say, both as children and as adults.

Recently, I have noticed that many students casually say, "I am done," "I am finished," "I am bored," or "I am upset." When I ask them, "What is done?" they usually respond with, "My work is done." When I inquire, "What is finished?" they say, "My work is finished." Similarly, when a student tells me, "I am bored," I playfully ask, "Is your name 'bored'?" They often laugh and clarify, "I am feeling bored." This may seem like a small correction, but it highlights a big issue: how we speak about ourselves matters deeply.

When we use "I am" carelessly, we risk tying temporary feelings and experiences to our identity. If a child constantly says, "I am bored" or "I am tired," they may begin to internalize these states as permanent parts of themselves. Instead, it is healthier to express such feelings as temporary experiences: "I feel bored" or "I am feeling tired." This language shift separates who we are from what we feel in the moment, making a big difference in our self-perception.

Adults are not exempt from this habit. We often hear people say things like, "I am frustrated," "I am angry," "I am depressed," or even negative self-labels like, "I am such a fool." While it is natural to experience emotions, it is important to remember that these are feelings, not our identity. By saying, "I feel frustrated" or "I am experiencing anger," we acknowledge the emotion without letting it define us. This creates space to process the feeling rather than letting it consume who we are.

The mind does not differentiate between positive and negative "I am" statements; it simply absorbs what we tell it. If we constantly say negative things, such as "I am hopeless" or "I am stupid," these words begin to shape our reality. On the flip side, positive statements like "I am capable," "I am strong," and "I am learning" can help build a healthier self-image and a more positive outlook on life.

Parents, caregivers, and educators play a key role in guiding children to use words carefully. When we hear a child say, "I am done," we can gently correct them to say, "My work is done." When they say, "I am bored," we can help them rephrase it to, "I feel bored." This small effort teaches children to separate their feelings from their identity and builds a habit of mindful speaking.

Words have energy, and the words we choose shape our reality. By being mindful of "I am" statements, we empower ourselves and others to create a more positive, intentional, and fulfilling life. Let us teach our children and ourselves to speak with care, shaping a reality that reflects our true potential and resilience.

By Romal Surana, Author, Child and Adolescent counsellor, Tedxspeaker

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