Celebrating Failures as Stepping Stones

Parenting isn’t merely about guiding children to success; it's about teaching them how to embrace failures with grace. One touching example that beautifully illustrates this is from the life of actor Anupam Kher. In an interview, Kher narrated an unforgettable experience with his father during his first year of college. There was a family restaurant where they would dine to celebrate special occasions every few months, indulging in their favourite dishes. So, when Kher’s father unexpectedly called him for another visit to that restaurant not long after their last celebration, he was puzzled.

During the meal, Kher noticed something peculiar: his father ordered not just one, but two plates of their favourite food. It felt oddly celebratory. They enjoyed the meal, and when they finished, his father revealed the reason for their visit. He had recently discovered that Kher had failed his university exams. But instead of reprimanding him or expressing disappointment, his father explained that they were celebrating his failure, so that next time, Kher wouldn’t be afraid of it or feel ashamed.

This act of compassion and wisdom speaks volumes about resilient parenting. It wasn’t about ignoring failure; it was about redefining it. By normalizing setbacks and taking away their stigma, Kher’s father showed him that failure is a part of life—not something to be feared or shunned, but something to be learned from and, when needed, even celebrated. This approach planted seeds of confidence and self-assurance in Kher, empowering him to grow from his failures.

Today, when we look around, we find children struggling to cope with failure. Many young people experience anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts because they feel the crushing weight of unmet expectations and the fear of falling short. This fragility is not an inherent weakness in our children but is often a reflection of societal and parental pressures. Many parents push relentlessly for their children to be "first," always winning and achieving, leaving no room for setbacks. In doing so, we rob our children of the opportunity to fail safely, learn, and grow stronger.

Anupam Kher’s story reminds us of a valuable lesson: we must create a culture where failure is seen as a stepping stone, not a dead-end. Children need to know that their worth isn’t determined by their accomplishments alone but by their courage to rise after a fall. As parents, celebrating both successes and failures teaches our children resilience and helps them see setbacks as temporary challenges, not defining moments of shame.

Parenting Tip: Celebrate the Setbacks

The next time your child faces failure, don’t be quick to chastise or express disappointment. Instead, acknowledge their feelings and help them process the experience. Celebrate their courage to try and explore what they learned from it. This approach fosters a growth mindset, reduces fear of failure, and builds the emotional strength needed to navigate life’s inevitable challenges.

By embracing this approach, we empower our children to see failures not as signs of weakness but as opportunities for growth. After all, every success story is built on the foundation of failures conquered along the way.

By Romal Surana

Child and adolescent counsellor, Special needs Educator, Parenting Coach andTedxSpeaker

For more Parenting Stories and Tips - Grab your copy of Awakening Parenthood Vol 1 from Amazon - https://amzn.in/d/5JeJLCD

Join our WhatsApp group -https://chat.whatsapp.com/C970lb29uUf9hQKSPlopEO

that is purely meant for Parenting queries and tips and discussion...